Alright alright, yes, I missed last week and no, I didnt forget. It was a really busy week both socially and with my business so when I finally got the chance to sit down and watch the show last Thursday, the last thing I wanted to do was “work” during it. Alright, so I guess I can hardly call overanalyzing and ridiculing innocent strangers as ” work”, but it still requires me typing and thinking, and to be honest, the only physical work I wanted to do was lift my wine glass to my mouth. (That part I actually succeeded with…in case you were wondering).
Another reason I bailed on last week is because that episode was seriously so jam packed with trashy awesomeness that I didnt even know where to begin. I could have honestly written a 4 chapter novel and wouldn’t have even had time to talk about Olivia’s open mouth. Shocking, I know. It was a great episode, but there was too much drama and not enough lovin.
There are two things that can’t miss being discussed about last week’s episode tho…..
- Apparently pigs dont fly, but they do swim. And are great at making ditzy, gorgeous women in bikinis look like idiots. I seriously couldnt stop laughing and I must have received 6 text messages from my fellow Bachelor groupies about how much they couldnt either. It was TV GOLD…thats pretty much all I have to say, because it pretty much spoke for itself.
- Ahhh the epic 2 on 1 date. You always know that the 2 chosen for this date are never going far or certainly not going to win. I honestly thought he was going to send Emily packing though. Her relationship with Ben is ions away from his with the other girls. Is it bad that when he sent Olivia home, I started laughing at the footage of her stranded on a rocky beach? It was almost as good as the time Farmer Chris sent Kelsey AND Ashley I. home and left them in the middle of the Badlands crying ugly Kim Kardashian tears while he rode off in his helicopter. RIP Olivia’s mouth. (Tear).
After last week’s rose ceremony, I realized that sh*t was starting to get real. He’s down to 6 girls….and aside from Emily, I have no idea who he is going to send home next…….. I like them all!!! Sniff.
Now onto this week’s episode….
Ben takes the girls back to his hometown of Warsaw, Indiana. I LOVE that he took them home for a week and can’t imagine a better place for the girls to really get to know Ben and where he’s from. Having grown up on a lake myself, I can imagine how excited Ben was to show the girls around. Ben was apparently SO excited that he came ripping across the lake at a swift 25 mph in his sweet pontoon boat. Cmon ABC…couldnt you have rented a hot speed boat or 7 person jetski or something? ( wouldn’t that be epic?!) And at least have him take his shirt off!!! I know it was fall, but he’s getting paid so sometimes sacrifices need to be made. :)
1 on 1 Date- Lauren B.
Ben takes Lauren around the town, showing her his “old stomping grounds”. Could he BE any more obvious that she’s one of his front-runners?!! The date was awesome. The center where Ben volunteered is very similar to The Boys and Girl’s Club of Chicago, where I volunteer with my husband. It’s honestly the best feeling knowing that you’re making a difference in the lives of kids who need it and it spoke volumes about Lauren’s character in how she handled and interacted with the kids. Ben had a Bachelor Boner watching her there, that’s for certain.
Ben and Lauren stop at the local biker shop to buy matching black leather jackets and then head to his local dive bar to hang with his old friends. I mean, seriously……they might as well end the show right here. It’s clearly a done deal.
1 on 1 Date- Jo Jo
Ben takes JoJo to Chicago!….otherwise known as the best city ever. After hearing that Ben is a huge Cubs fan, I immediately started crushing on him more. Seriously…the perfect guy. I used to live around the corner from the field and if I would have known they were filming there that day, I would have psychotically stalked them and the entire area for at least a week until Ben showed up. Ok, maybe more. Their date at Wrigley Field was pretty adorable and Ben admits that he’s more himself with her than with any other girl. JoJo says she’s scared to fall (at least 12 times). Like it’s hard or something to fall for Ben? Girrllll, you’re nuts. Put on your big girl pants and fall. Fall like you’ve never fallen before.
Group Date- Caila, Amanda and Becca
Ben takes the girls to do “country things” for like 20 minutes, they chat and that’s it. Most boring group date ever. Until, however, Ben gives Amanda the rose and leaves the other two in the (barn) dust to cry. I’m not surprised. He seems to be pulling away from Becca for some reason and Caila is starting to show more complicated layers than the Jubilee onion.
Amanda and Ben have the most normal date ever and head to McDonalds and……wait for it…….actually Eat!! I actually saw sips and bites taken. The best part, Ben ordered exactly what I would have ordered. I would pay big money for a McDonalds iced coffee right about now…..
They then continue the normalcy at the town carnival and Ben cries like a schoolgirl on the ride. I’m torn with Amanda. Sometimes I love her, and sometimes she has the personality of a sweet and really attractive rock. Either way, he’s interested in her enough to head to her hometown and bring her kiddos into the picture.
1 on 1 Date- Emily
Ben takes Emily back to his childhood home on the lake to meet his parents. Now the only two dates they have had have been at each other’s childhood (or in Emily’s case, current) homes. Emily goes to chat (and chat and chat) with Ben’s mom and completely “blows it” by only talking about herself and stating that her goal in life is to be a football cheerleader. Just what every mom wants to hear, Em! Score. Ben’s mom starts crying when chatting with Ben, thinking about the horrible idea of Emily and him ending up together. This did not go well. He ends up sending her home and all of the other girls start crying and consoling her. Ben couldn’t back that pontoon boat out of there fast enough…..
Poor Em. She seems sweet, but she needs about 5 years more experience in eating vegetables and traveling outside of Las Vegas before any guy like Ben can take you seriously…..
Ben chats with Chris Harrison ( who has the best job in the world btw…..shows up for 5 minutes to act like he cares and gets paid millions to do it) and says that he’s torn on who to send home. He ends up sending Becca home, much to her surprise. Can’t say I’m shocked…although I did like her. Anyone else think it would be awesome to see her on Bachelor in Paradise!?! 3 times a charm? If that show doesn’t make her lose her virginity, I dont know what will……..
Welp, we’re down to 4 now and thus awaits my favorite last episodes of the season! Currently, my betting money would be on Lauren B and JoJo, but that seems too obvious, so who knows what they’re going to throw our way.
Thanks for reading ladies (and anonymous gents) …Till next time!